The Rebel Rash

I've heard of rebel onions…
...I've heard of rebel trash
I've heard of Rebel beer
  …but never Rebel Rash!

Ah, but I was to learn!
…and no, not by word of mouth
But a painful intimate interlude
…with this denizen of the south!

Rebel Rash is what happens
…when heavy thighs begin to clash
Too many chickens, too many taters
…are the cause of rebel rash!

Throw in heavy humidity
…a blazing hot rebel sun
Privates sweating bullets
…and ere the day is done

You'll be walking bow legged
…cold shower your only desire
And trying to act cool
…thighs scarlet and on fire

Pining for the moment
…You lie naked, prone upon the bed
Naked, spread-eagled!
…fan blowing 'neath the spread

Praying, when comes the morning
  …it's time to turn the lights on,
  You peek 'neath the sheets
  …the Rebel Rash is gone!


Russ Pergram